not what he says he WANTS
Whether you have already met the love of your life or are still waiting to be shot by the cupid’s arrow, the love world out there is complicated… at least this is how it is for most women. So many of them find themselves falling head over heels for a man who just won’t reciprocate their feelings or perhaps abandon them after a few weeks or months of the relationship for someone else.
Whether you have just entered a relationship or are at the verge of breaking up, it is useful to know what men really need from you in a relationship. To begin with, everyone has a set of expectations in a relationship.
While men may often feel reluctant to express and talk about their needs in a romantic relationship, it does not mean that their expectations are any less important than yours. More often than not, they tend to have an idea of the kind of relationship they would want to have, the kind of woman they would want to settle down with, and even the kind of family they would want when it is time.
Relationships do not have to be as complex as they usually are. Understanding yours and your partner’s expectations and knowing what you both are bringing in to the table is the key to a successful, happy relationship.
That being said, every individual is blessed with a gift. It is what you are good at and what you are usually praised for. It would not be wrong to say that women typically are blessed with the gift of ‘giving’ or the quality of being empathetic. And honestly, it is a great virtue to boast! But one mistake that many women make is that they use this gift a little too much… simply because they are good at it or they have received compliments for it. Whatever the reason is, what they fail to realize is that it often works against them.
As a woman, it is likely that you enjoy and feel good making your man feel good. Yet he may still not appreciate it and act indifferent. We know how heartbreaking it can be, but the good news is that there is hope. You can actually make your man fall in love with you and make him feel emotionally connected with you by simply understanding how his mind works. Because usually, men themselves do not know what they should expect from a relationship, and they end up basing their expectations on what they want – and not what they need.
So ladies, if you want your man to be attracted to you and you only, and want your relationship to last a lifetime filled with happiness and love, it’s time to start giving your man what he needs rather than what he wants.
Practice the Art of Attraction
But you need to do it right!
Men usually give the impression that they like things easy; and hence, women fall prey to the idea that if they do not give a man all that they have and play hard-to-get, they will lose their chance at love. This could not be further from the truth! If you push a man too far away too frequently, chances are that he will lose his attraction to you.
On the other pole, however, showing desperation and being too clingy or demanding can also be a major attraction killer. While you should be willing to do things to make him happy, you would also want to maintain your self-respect.
They key to building attraction is what I call Putting Your Heart First. When a woman is “heart” centered it causes her feelings to flow into every aspect of her life. She becomes softer and more confident. Her skin begins to glow (that may sound strange, but I’ve seen it time and time again). Here’s what happened when Anna began practicing being “Heart Centered.”
So, be confident and let things roll off your back – he will love it! Never push yourself too hard to impress him and never rush things in a relationship because these are two of the biggest reasons why men get turned off and run away scared in the initial phase of the relationship.
He Needs Emotional Connection
While it is true that men do not share their feelings as much as women do, it does not mean that they are emotionless. Believe us when we say that they do have one or more people they can open up to and feel secure sharing their feelings – even the toughest ones do.
A man usually does not feel comfortable sharing his feelings to a woman he has just met or got into a relationship with. Women often take this as a sign that he is not very emotionally sensitive and thus, they do not feel like making any efforts to make him emotionally comfortable.
However, in reality, men look for a woman who can be their safe space in a relationship. They need to know that it will be okay for her to see them express their feelings, be emotionally vulnerable, and even see them cry. It will obviously not happen in a day or two; but you need to show him that you care about him and offer him the safe haven he needs, since the beginning of the relationship.
When a man knows you love him despite the cracks in his armor, that’s when he gets emotionally connected with you. And having an emotional connection is the key to a long-term relationship.
He Needs Respect
Most men like playing teasing and bickering games with women – it is fun, right? This, in turn, makes women think it is right to do the same with them. And it really is! However, some women tend to go overboard with the teasing, assuming that men are not as sensitive as they are. There is nothing wrong in making a joke or two but you need to be considerate of your man’s feelings too.
Women are not the only ones who have a need for respect in a relationship. Respect is a two-way street. So, you would not want to say or do the kind of things that you would not want your man to say or do to you. To make sure you do not make your man feel bad about himself even when you are joking, you need to be overly critical regarding his emotions.
Furthermore, it is also important to respect your man in the sense that you do not treat him as a child. While a man wants to be taken care of and feel loved, what he really needs is to feel that he is your hero. When he does something you like, don’t keep your admiration to yourself. Your appreciation is the prize he is after.
He Needs Admiration
While there is this popular relationship norm where women are always showered with compliments and praise for every little or big thing that they do, men could also use some approval and assurance now and then. Whether it is about their appearance, their career, their personality, or how good they are in bed, men love to be appreciated.
Since men usually do not ask for compliments or give signals asking for approval, women tend to forget that they are also humans with an ego that may need to be watered once in a while. Men love when their partner recognizes the things they do for them and their relationship. It simply lets them know they are doing things right. So, never hesitate to pat your man on the back whenever he does something good, no matter how little it may be.
He Craves Emotional Maturity
Women often give their all to make their man feel good, especially when their relationship is going through a bumpy road. Yet there may be some situations when doing something nice for him actually reinforces something unpleasant, lazy, or rude that he tends to do. When you keep on rewarding him, completely ignoring the unpleasant behavior, he won’t notice how wonderful you are being. Instead, he may perceive that you are rewarding the behavior that you actually do not like.
We cannot be any clearer about how men do not like when women are not confident enough to communicate if something is bothering them. They want someone who is able to deal with a situation like a mature adult.
During such unpleasant times, what he really needs is for you to put your heart first, ahead of trying to avoid a conflict. That being said, it does not have to be a huge confrontation. You do not need to be harsh because there really is an art to being firm with a man yet still making him feel closer to you. All you should do is take a step back, analyze the situation and your feelings related to it, and communicate them with confidence in a calm manner.
In fact, how a woman uses her emotions determines whether a man comes closer or pulls away. When you use you emotions to draw him closer it creates a Campfire Effect with a man. This is when a man feels captivated and spellbound just being in your presense.
Click here for the quick video which gifts you with the glamor and allure of the Campfire Effect.